When your home leaves you….


What do you say when you leave your home for work and come back to find it gone? What do you say when all that you have lovingly acquired over the years lie broken and anguished in the space-time continuum which was once your home?

***

It was the summer of 2006. My wife and I were hunting for a new home. So when we came across 1C- V2 at Muscat Oasis Residences, it was love at first sight. Built into the curvature of the complex, 1C- V2 was a duplex apartment allowing comfortable living space coupled with great poolside and mountain views. So it came about that as we moved into a spanking new home, 1C-V2 also embraced us, resplendent in its new furnishings and trappings. Come weekends and party time and 1C-V2 would be all welcoming as it waited for the guests, with its lights and shadows.

***

Six years passed. The Togor sapling my wife planted grew into a perennially flowering tree, swaying and peeping into our upper floor bedroom. Our daughters left home for college. The nest became empty. But our bond with 1C-V2 only strengthened. As we returned from work in the evenings, it was always there waiting for us with its serenity and comfort.

***

August 11th 2012. I leave home for work. At 9 am I get a call from neighbour that there had been an explosion at our residential complex. Rushing back, I come to face to face with something resembling a disaster movie set. Fire brigade lights. Crowd of on-lookers. Police and civil defence personnel frantically putting up no entry tapes and signs. Curtains and bedsheets fluttering out of gaping holes where French windows and doors used to be. I hear a distant voice asking me if someone was inside. I look around to see the guy standing next to me. Was something wrong with my hearing? Slowly but deliberately I cross the no-entry signs and move into the restricted zone. Paying no heed to the security guy telling me the building was unsafe, I step into the dark, dusty and glass strewn space which was our home.

***

I sit on a broken suitcase watching the two workmen clearing the debris with shovels.  Sanchita, my wife, frantically sifts through to try and recover some important documents which are missing. We are aware that two of the main columns had been compromised and 1C-V2 might need to be pulled down. With the end walls gone and the apartment open from both sides, a soothing breeze blows through.

“Sorry.”

I remain with my thoughts.

“I am sorry.” That voice wafts in again.

I look around but can scarcely determine the source.

“Who’s this?” I murmur.

“I am 1C-V2 or rather it’s spirit.”

“Do homes have spirits? I thought that was only in fairy tales.” I gasp.

“Yes they do. Who else brings the endless reservoir of  peace and comfort into homes?”

I ponder over this.

“I am here to say I am sorry. I tried my best to save this place for you but failed. You were the first and only family I had. I loved to be with you. Now with all of you gone, I need to leave too…..”

“One last question. Why me, why us?” I ask plaintively.

“The question you may wish to ponder is Why not you?” comes the voice.

I get  up with a start to find that I had dozed off. The breeze had in the meantime died down.

“Madam is this file important to you?” calls out one of the workmen. Sanchita is thrilled to recover some of her important documents.

***

We slowly walk away, my wife and I. I pondering over the last question, Why not me, she clutching her file.. We look back to see the flower laden Togor branch waving in front of the space where our window used to be. I wonder who it is saying sayonara to, our home or us?

***

Post Script: Investigations have concluded that the explosion was due to leakage of piped LPG gas in an apartment adjoining ours. The accident led to the tragic death of one tenant and serious injuries to another.

Author: Shakti Ghosal

* A PCC Credentialed Executive Coach mentor and trainer for leaders & performance. * A qualified engineer and a PGDM (Faculty Gold medalist) from IIM Bangalore. * Four decades of industry experience spanning Engineering, Maintenance, Projects, Consumer durables, Supply Chains, Aviation and Tourism. * Top level management positions to drive business development, strategy, alliances all around the globe. * A visiting faculty at the IIMs. *A passion to envision trends & disseminate Leadership incubation globally. www.empathinko.in , * www.linkedin.com/in/Shaktighosal. shakti.ghosal@gmail.com . +91 - 9051787576

106 thoughts on “When your home leaves you….”

  1. I am so sorry Shakti! But I admire your enlightened perspective at such a devastating time! You truly are an inspiration. Wishing you and your family much happiness in the year ahead with no hint of any such trauma 🙂

    Like

    Reply

  2. Such a terrible thing to happen Shakti, I greatly admire your fortitude in dealing with this. I am glad also that you and your wife were not hurt although it is very sad for the family of the person who lost their life.

    Like

    Reply

  3. Oh my gosh! What a terrible situation to have had to face. I am so glad that you and your family were not physically hurt but the emotional trauma must have been immense. Your resilience, courage and beautiful spirit shines through this post. Thank you for sharing it!

    Like

    Reply

  4. oh god.. that is so awful. My heart goes out to you my friend , so sorry that you had to go through this.
    and the tragic death of a innocent person ..

    SO what is happening now , has the house been repaired , what is going on

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you Bikramjit for your kind concern. We have since shifted into another place. A lot of stuff of which memories are made of, remain behind at 1C-V2. We move on, that I guess is what life is all about.

      God bless.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  5. What a scary experience. The Why me?/Why not me? debate is interesting because the argument can be made for any event- tragic or happy. A good life has its share of both. I’m glad your family wasn’t hurt and that your wife found the papers she needed.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Yes Jannat, you are right. The “Why me?” versus ” Why not me?” argument can be applied to many situations and can support us at that moment to gain a new perspective for our response and the way forward.

      Thank you for your kind concern, I appreciate you.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  7. I’m so terribly sorry to hear about this, Shakti. It must have been like a nightmare for you. I’m so glad you weren’t home at the time and that you and your wife are safe.

    Like

    Reply

  8. Amazing how one moment can change everything, and change us in the process….. A very profound piece in your life. Thank-you for sharing. I’m encouraged to see where it leads you.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Yes Angelia, change always is a moment even though we are conditioned to clutch on to the mirage of permanence of our situations.In fact it is this conditioning which seldom allows us to live in and appreciate our “here & now”. I guess it is moments such as this which shift our perspective to a new and wonderous plane.

      Thank you for your presence and comment Angelia. I appreciate you.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  9. Shakti, I’m so sorry for your loss and so glad your family was not inside when it happened. Hopefully you and your wife have created another living space that will be equally inviting and intelligent!

    Like

    Reply

  11. Thank you for sharing your personel experience,dear Shakti.You must still be in ( a kind of ) shock. Fortunately the loss is ” only ” materiel. Astrologically looked at, it seems Saturn has challenged you with his Return in your ” Comfort – Zone “. A topic interestingly “mused” by you a lot in the recent past.The theme was prominent since long and I am thrilled to watch the mystery of life…..
    “Sandys” are happening every day everywhere in the past, present and most likely future (if there is). May we all be aware of the impermanence of the Materiel. Let-Go, Non-Attachment…the keys to Meditation…Not an easy task when practically experienced…Wishing you lots of strength, trust, courage and love on this, your journey.Nana (Living out of the suitcase for some years now…)

    Renate Gruber Narayan
    ( Comment On Facebook)

    Like

    Reply

    1. Renate Gruber Narayan, though I have never really put much faith in astrology, I do appreciate your kind comment here. I plan to move your comment to my blogsite, if I may…?

      Shakti Ghosal

      Like

      Reply

  12. Dear Shakti,
    Just saw your email and am truly sorry to hear about the trauma you have been through. I think it requires a great deal of mental strength to share details of something as personal as this and find the ability to articulate it. As each of us goes through the crests and troughs of life I think there is a lot to be learnt through the maturity shown by people like you in dealing with the trials and tribulations. One of my greatest fears in life has been the fact that I lack the ability to let go. This is particularly true of people that are close to me (I dread the day I will have to inevitably untie the apron strings with my daughter Shreya for instance), but strangely true for other things as well. I have this weird habit of looking at every object around me as a living being with feelings, much to the utter consternation of my husband (I remember the day he looked at me completely incredulously when I told him that his motorbike – a Royal Enfield Bullet – looked extremely sad the day we sold it. I told the buyer to look after it very well and keep it happy because it was very special !!) So if you and Sanchita are anything like me, this phase must surely be very very difficult. I pray for you to find the strength.

    Having said that, life has also taught me a couple of other things. One, the people who have gone through the rough and tumble of life and done so with dignity are amongst the nicest people around. Second, the troughs are inevitable and if they happen without affecting the physical well-being of all our loved ones then we have to truly count our blessings. So cheer up Shakti – I am very sure that good times are just round the corner.

    With my best wishes to you and your family for a wonderful Diwali.

    Sandhya
    ( From IIM B 82-84 Yahoo Group)

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi Sandhya,

      My apologies for not being able to acknowledge your kind mail earlier.
      Your words resonate. Indeed as we move through life, we develop attachments all round and these in fact are the lenses through which we gain meaning and perceptions.They become the moorings for our peace and attitude.It stands to reason therefore that some of our deepest insecurities stem from loss of these attachments.

      Post the incident, we have felt so unattached and free. This has led to a great perspective shift in both my wife and myself and we remain grateful for this. Over the last few months we lived out of suitcases with every day and moment offering new possibilities.This has been a great space and learning for us.

      We feel blessed and honoured to have friends like you. The goodwill that your mail has brought to us is all that we need.

      Thank you once again, I truly appreciate you.Hope all of you are doing fine.

      Cheers and God Bless, Happy Deepawali!

      Shakti

      P.S. Sandhya, your mail so beautiful, I was wondering if I could have your permission to also shift it to my blog where it would benefit from more eyeballs.But since you have brought in some personal aspects,I would do that only if I have your un-qualified approval.

      Like

      Reply

  13. This is an amazing story of sadness and survival. I am thankful that you and your wife survived with your lives, yet I can imagine how hard this must have been on you both. The dream, the words from your home, brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for bravely sharing this amazingly poignant post. Be well, and may all be healed in time.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you for your kind comment.Stories like this write themselves. My contribution was to share it. Yes, the words of our home spirit were poignant and led to a great learning experience for which we remain thankful.

      I do appreciate your taking the time to visit and commenting.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  15. Wow! What a disaster! I’m so sorry about your beautiful home, and its wonderful spirit. Just so true too: Neither you nor your wife were in it when it exploded.

    Like

    Reply

  16. Quite an amazing story, Shakti… I have read some of your comments and appreciate that such an experience holds truth and reflection for us. Some choose to take the path of learning, whilst others do not. Your attitude is obviously one that we can all benefit from…
    We do find out so much about ourselves during such experiences…

    Like

    Reply

    1. You are so right. I guess it all comes down to the perspective we chooseto hold at the moment. And yes, we are all so similar even though we may have been socialised to believe we are different.

      I appreciate your comment.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  18. I’m so sorry you lost your home, that must be such a huge blow and yet, I love the way you looked at the bigger picture instead of asking ‘why me’ as most of us do. The answer is exactly as you said..’why not you’…Thank goodness you and your wife weren’t harmed and you spirits are strong enough to realise you can make a new home because it’s the heart we share which loves us that makes a house a home, so, your new home can be anywhere, as long as you are with the one you love, you will be home.
    Thanks for visiting me.

    Like

    Reply

  19. I have not had this kind of tragedy but shortly after moving into my home and just before holidays here, my home was broken into and ransacked. I believe I asked the same questions but instead of answers found I had to move on. I still live in my home but being here has always had the lingering of something else that doesn’t seem to leave. It is true that once you leave your home anything can happen in the time it takes you to return.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi Renee,

      Indeed objectively this can be construed as a tragedy. But subjectively one can choose to see it as a great tempering and learning experience.The latter path that we took in fact made us feel happier and hopeful. Thank you for commenting.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

      1. I agree that something positive can come from something that in a moment can cause grief or pain. Learning is what give me great joy in life and that you felt more hopeful after your experience is a good thing. After all, you had your lives and family still and wonderful memories from the years spent living there. Have a Good Day!

        Like

      2. Yes Renee, there always exists possibilities and learning in each of our experiences. It depends on us to choose our response at that moment. Thank you for the lovely comment.

        Shakti

        Like

  20. I love the tag line on your blog! Lovely. This is an incredible survival of fortune and survival. I would like to check out more of your blog. Thanks for stopping by mine! xLaura

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi Laura,

      Thank you for your kind comment on my tagline, that is so reassuring. Indeed events such as this can be incredible learning journeys for each one us.

      Cheers and God Bless.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  21. In January of this year, my wife, daugther, and father survived a tornado that destroyed my house, but certainly not my life or spirit. I can certainly relate to this post.

    Tim

    Like

    Reply

    1. Funnily , when I was face to face with the situation, I did not see it as a nightmare at all! And as I have said elsewhere, I have come out with new awareness and learning. That I suppose is a blessing. I guess we would get some financial compensation but some of the stuff lost had to do with memories…..

      Thank you for your comment.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  23. I’m really sorry for your loss and I hope you find a new home soon. One that welcomes you with open arms. I don’t know if it sounds appropriate now but Happy Diwali, Sir. May God protect you from all evils. 🙂

    Like

    Reply

  24. “Why not me?”
    An optimist you are, dear Sir. And, what happened was very unfortunate. But I like the positivity with which you have dealt with everything. God bless.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Dear Ramu,

      You are right. ” Why not me? ” is at the core of our learning from the event. Whether we need to look at the future through the lens of positivity or otherwise is a choice we need to make. Thank you for your comment.

      Cheers
      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  25. I’m so glad that I found your blog… following hence forth. You write really interesting and thought provoking articles and stories… Will read it completely soon..:)

    Like

    Reply

    1. You are so right. As I think of it I realise that there is something within us which strengthens us and our responses when faced with adversity, Could this be the other face of human resilience?

      Thank you for your comment.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  28. Reblogged this on INTO THE BARDO and commented:
    Here Shakti Ghosal writes of his shock and pain at the loss of the family home due to a gas leak. At first he asks – as we all might – “why me?” and then he asks – as perhaps few of us would – “why not me?” Now seems a good time to share such pondering here on Bardo. In a world that still wars and copes with increasing numbers of “extreme” weather events – this is an experience too many people currently have in common. No matter the cause – weather, war, faulty building practices, or fire – there is overwhelming pain: financial ramifications, a sense of dislocation, a loss of family treasures, records, and even the loss of life … In metta for Shakti, his family, and all the people who are rebuilding their lives after the distruction of their homes. Jamie Dedes

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi Jamie,

      You truly have brought out the essense of the post. ” Why me” to “Why not me” can be a wonderous shift in perspective as we found out.When circumstances makes you lose all attachments to stuff you loved and preserved, when you live out of suitcases, you start living in the moment and this opens up great possibilities. We discovered this and are so grateful for that.

      Blessings to you.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

      3. Indeed. I loved the “why not me” … and not in the spirit of deminishing anyone else”s pain, just about my own perspective and as something for all to ponder. Thanks always for a thoughtful and through-provoking post, Shakti.

        Warmest regards to you and your loved ones,
        Jamie

        Like

  29. It was extremely painful to read about your loss….but what I gather from your emails and writings is that you are strong person and you have a loving family to share your joys and sorrows….I am sure these two factors must have helped you to fight the unfortunate situation.

    Wishing you all the best !!

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi Amrita,

      I truly cherish your kind mail and sentiments therein. To be frank I am not at all sure whether I am strong inside as you have mentioned. In the past I can recall many situations when I was not! I compromised based on logic though my heart had signalled me to do otherwise.Interestingly though this time around,circumstances allowed a shift in my perspective and that helped. I have written about this in my post.

      Thank you for your presence here, Amrita. I appreciate you.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  30. First I am sorry for your loss my friend, I am sending prayers for you and for your family, soo thankful you and family are safe……. This post reminds me of how important to come home, I am always on the go and very seldom to stay home I guess If I just need to rest, it serves as awakening call to value what is important…. God Bless Shakti…

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi WOH,

      Thanks old friend for your kind thoughts and prayers.Indeed we take our home for granted most of the times, seeing its deficiencies rather than the great security and serenity it provides.Just as other things, we realise its value when it is no longer there…..

      I appreciate you.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  31. First, Shakti, I am so very sorry for your loss! My niece and her family lost their home around the same time to a freak fire caused by faulty wiring. Family of 5. Luckily they were in a position to ask and then receive many donations and offerings from the community. But they lost their sweet little dog in the fire, as well as – like you – many irreplaceable personal memories.

    Secondly, you no longer appear in my WP feed. I came looking for you to see why that was … and you’re posting, but I’m not receiving. So I ‘unfollowed’ and then ‘followed’ you again. Hoping that fixes the problem.

    Take good care, and my best to you both and all.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Dear Bela,

      What can I say but a heartfelt thank you for your presence and comforting words.Reading about your niece and her family makes me even more empathetic with my own experience behind me.Could this be why we need to have such experiences as we go through life, Bela?

      I appreciate you!

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

      1. I am pretty sure the Dalai Lama is correct when he says we’re here to learn compassion. I can’t think of any other reason that is so compelling …
        Blessings to you and your dear ones!

        Like

  32. I’m so sorry for the loss of your home, Shakti. Our home is our castle. It’s what we retreat to, knowing the serenity that exists behind closed doors. We live in an area that’s frequently hit by hurricanes (although we’ve been very lucky the past few years). It’s unnerving to know that Sandy, or any other storm, could uproot us … any of us.
    Like you, I feel for the folks in the Northeast that were in Sandy’s destuctive path. I’m relieved that you and your wife are OK, and glad that you are now comfortably settled in another place you now call home.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you Judy for your kind concern and good wishes.I believe our incident has made us stronger and better human beings. It has also shifted our perspective from ” Me- Self” to a more holistic one. These are great learnings and I remain grateful. On a more tactical level, I would really advice each and everyone to keep copies of important documents, certificates etc at another location, maybe a bank locker.

      God Bless

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  33. Im so sorry Shakti, I reblogged your post without asking you if it was okay? 😦

    Let me know if you want me to get it down. I can do it..
    Just wanted to spread the word about the attitude of gratitude – Hope its okay!

    Please let me know if its not.

    Shraddha

    Like

    Reply

  35. Hi Shakti!

    This post reminds me of the courage and deep level of gratitude that you displayed when this incident took place & I wanna whole-heartedly applaud you for your honesty in writing this post..

    However grateful we feel about the situation, losing our home which is a part of our existence, comes as a gr8 shock & it feels very difficult for me to put myself in your shoes..

    Cant even imagine it!! the manner in which you’ve not just handled this loss, but also how you’ve moved on & welcomed other possibilities sounds like a gr8 learning lesson for me & am so lucky to have an awesome Coach like you in my life..

    Thanks for everything Shakti & thanks for writing this post!!
    Its a beautiful (yet sad) reminder of how grateful, each one of us should be for all our blessings..

    Juz B 🙂

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thank you Shraddha for your very thoughtful and kind words. Indeed you were one of the first to know of the incident. The post is really a catharsis and I guess writing it has led to a welcome release.And yes, we need to gain the wisdom to see our blessings in the moment.

      I appreciate you.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  36. Essgee, I just got around to reading this after a spate of emails on the egroups today and seeing the pics I can imagine the damage done to yor nest. I am thankful that none of your family was injured in this and thats worth a lot. Presume you had your insurance covering most of the damage and it can be rebuilt back to its original glory.

    Warm regds

    Raj

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi Rex,

      Thank you for your presence here and your kind concern. Most of the furniture and furnishings were company owned and insured, some of my personal stuff was not.As you have rightly conjectured, we are all fine and that is what matters.

      Cheers

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  37. Hi Essgee,

    This must have been truly traumatic. I pray that the spirit of the home which took care of you, continues to do so in it’s various avatars…..the spirit gutted your home but saved you all. The home itself was like a passing ship in the night…God Bless you all !!

    Prabhakar Valivati

    Like

    Reply

  38. Dear Sir,
    Deeply sorry to hear about your loss
    At a philosophical level you could console yourself that the loss was to the structure and humans were unaffected. Your good karma has protected you. Like a good parent, the spirit of 1C V2 has protected you while sacrificing itself. Cherish your memories in 1C V2 and rebuild/restart, the spirit of 1C V2 will come back to you.
    regards

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi Pradeep,

      Interesting you have brought up the aspect of Karma here.Yes indeed, the spirit of 1CV2 protected me specially when I think of what could have happened if the accident had taken place a day earlier ( Friday- a holiday for me) or even an hour earlier.

      Thank you for your kind words, I truly appreciate.

      Shakti Ghosal

      Like

      Reply

  39. Hi Shakti, deeply sorry for your loss.

    What hurts most and takes longest to heal is the loss of shattered confidence; trust in something we presumed a safe haven , a sanctuary if you will. It also underlines an unsaid statement to God why me ? How could you be so cruel, and that ls the source of loss of confidence.

    May the lord give you strength and fortitude to envision and encompass and accept your loss and still carry on with a smile.

    luv.
    sanwal

    Like

    Reply

    1. Dear Sanwal,

      My biggest take-away from the inicdent has been the shift from “Why me?” to “Why not me?” This itself has supported me and sanchita to accept and move on. Thank you for your kind words.

      Shakti Ghosal

      Like

      Reply

  40. I am so sorry. I can’t even begin to comprehend the enormity of your loss. To lose one’s home. . . I sat and watched footage last night of people who had lost everything in the wake of Hurricane Sandy and my heart goes out to you and your family as it has to those unfortunate victims of chance and fate.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Indeed the loss, both financially and emotionally, can get to you provided you allow it to. The incident has brought in great awareness to me. Awareness of what could have been, how lucky we have been etc.I prefer to be thankful for that.

      I truly appreciate your kind concern and presence here.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

      1. That is a great perspective to hold, Paps. We need to condition ourself to embrace positivity and possibilities at the moment we get confronted with events we cannot control.

        Love Baba

        Like

  41. Very well written Baba. That house will always remain special for us and me, although I didn’t stay there long. But the future holds better and I am very thankful that it was only material items that were damaged.

    Like

    Reply

  42. One lesson that I find in these events, is be mentally prepared. How? That is an individual’s choice, and there might not be a prescription. Also, enjoy every moment, for the same reason. I have been reading a nice book called ‘Nothing to be Frightened of’ about death, written by Julian Barnes, and I found it is very light-hearted!

    Like

    Reply

    1. You are spot on Gunds! How we respond to a situation remains our choice. What I hear you also say is that we need to live in the moment.We need to do this with an attitude of curiosity and willingness to explore possibilities.

      Cheers

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  43. Wow, this is enormously sobering – has me realise the value of coming home after work… just coming HOME: and there it is, quietly awaiting.

    I loved your delivery of this, setting the scene of joy at acquisition, the beautiful photos, your wife & you happy, the six years grown plant, the explosion, the neighbour calling. You delivered this story well – and I’m glad you said what caused the explosion as I was wondering. Terrible, that someone died at such a leakage.

    I truly hope you are re-settled. This is indeed devastating & has me realise how it must be in natural disasters for people, bush fires etc. Thank you for sharing this part of your life.

    Like

    Reply

    1. I am so glad my post resonated with you. My biggest take-away has been my thoughts around the question, “Why not me?” As we go through life we somehow form the belief that all that is happening is to other people and the external world and somehow we would remain unscathed. To shift away from this belief can be at once moderating and empowering.

      Yes, we are resettled though a part of us has remained back with the home that left us. Thank you for asking. I appreciate you.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  44. Shakti, I’m so sorry Sanchita and you experienced such a traumatizing loss. It’s impossible for anyone to imagine its effect – to the very core. The shock numbs – then the freezing comes out with stings and alarming unpredictability. The melting and healing is so different for each individual.

    The depth of your grief is evident in your not sharing it before now. I’m so glad it has come out. It’s hard to imagine your suffering and it is a burden to be shared. Sanchita and you are not alone – and so many of us want the opportunity to hold you in our hearts.

    As a child of 12, I watched our home burn down. We lost everything. All family personal effects including photos, papers, etc. were upstairs where the fire started. (I have one photo of me as a small child.)

    We each stayed with different people so we each went through the shock without the comfort of family. Dad had to go back to work right away, mom finished her teaching term and my brother and I boarded with other families. Our older siblings were elsewhere as young adults.

    When we moved into our new home in a small city, we’d begin a chore, then remember we no longer had the tools or dishes to do the job properly. Besides being a terrible financial set-back for our family, it exacerbated Mom’s very difficult struggle during menopause years.

    Even twenty or thirty years after the fire, I would hear mom or dad say, “Where’s the xyz? Did we buy that before or after the fire?” The event became a benchmark in life. “Was that before or after the fire?”

    Shakti, as with any loss, a new tragedy stimulates the feelings from the old loss. That’s to be expected. It’s a surprise because we think we’ve put those feelings to rest, but it happens continuously for all of us. My friend whose gorgeous daughter died in a car accident two years ago can see a wounded animal and her grief surfaces anew.

    We tenderize. We seem to accept our vulnerability with renewed humility. We can marvel over our incredible resilience.

    With love and much compassion to Sanchita and you, Amy

    Like

    Reply

    1. Dear Amy,

      At the outset, thank you so much for your beautiful and uplifting comment. Thank you also for your kind sentiments.

      To be frank your comment halted me in my tracks! I never realised what had been stopping me from speaking about the incident till I read your words. Indeed the post is a catharsis for both me and Sanchita. I while writing it and she while reading it.

      Quite appropriately, reading about your own experience from childhood has brought in the comfort of kinship and understanding. I really appreciate you for this.

      God Bless

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  45. Thankfully you and your family survived this tragedy. I can only imagine that those on the east coast are feeling much the same as your family did during this crisis.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Hi LuAnn,

      As I have said somewhere else, Sandy has led to my catharsis.Having gone through this experience allows me to be far more empathetic about what folks are going through on the East Coast.

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

  46. Shakti , I am just relieved that you and your family are all safe and well… I think Shakti we have all been touched in some ways recently by events that have triggered the need to let go.. I am so sorry that you lost your beautiful home, but you could have lost so so much more precious.. and that is something many around the world experience on a regular basis as storms rage and tragedy strikes,
    I just only last evening posted about Hurricane Sandy and the lessons we are being shown you can find at this link http://wp.me/p16xW7-Hd
    Your Spirit stands you in good stead as your communications with 1C-V2 prove..
    You have my thoughts and I know that you can grow only higher within your own Spiritual journey as Life brings to us that point from which we all need to grow from…

    Blessings to you and your beautiful family
    Sue

    Like

    Reply

  47. Wow Shakti….What a traumatic encounter. As I sit and watch the people in New Jersey who lost their homes in the hurricane I notice the ones who seem to be coping well in interviews are the ones who are able to release the loss and find hope for the future. If people are paying attention, this storm is teaching us great lessons. Letting go, priorities and faith. When your life gets stripped of everything I would imagine you begin to examine your priorities. In your case what a blessing for you it happened when you were not home! Your priority now becomes the fact you are alive and free to continue on with your life. Gratitude now enters in if people are open to feeling it and releasing the anguish of loss. So many lessons to be learned by many people. I am thankful you are alive and well and hopefully your new home has a welcoming spirit as well to sooth you. I send you blessings friend….VK

    Like

    Reply

    1. In fact VK, this post has been triggered by Sandy.As I sit into the quickening dusk, the images flickering on the news screen. As I watch the devastation superstorm Sandy has wrought as it rolled through New York and beyond. Homes destroyed and lying as heaps of debris.Neighbourhoods without power and access, no longer able to welcome its residents back.

      Oh, how I can empathise and feel for these folks as my mind flits back to an intense personal experience……
      Has Sandy led to my catharsis? I leave it to you to opine. And should you find it worth your while, do share it onwards.

      God Bless!

      Shakti

      Like

      Reply

      1. The old saying “Time heals all” is not as it truly is. Time has nothing to do with it, it is we who decide when to allow the trauma to pass on, when we have enough strength back to face the trauma head on. I don’t believe we ever totally ‘Get Over’ trauma for it lodges itself within our cellular memory and remains there unless we know how to clear it out. Your cellular memory was triggered and perhaps now is the time you are willing to face that trauma and feel it and interact with it and the cellular memory can finally release it. Loss and also abandonment are powerful emotions and ones that we humans find very difficult to release.I am thinking it is because we tend to allow things and people to define who we are therefore losing them is losing a part of ourselves. If we are whole to begin with there is nothing to lose really. It seems that this is a good time to revisit this terrible experience and then finally let it go.It appears Sandy may actually be a gift for you. Good luck my friend and focus on the joy in your life now and in the changing of the world…Blessings…VK

        Like

      2. Hi VK,

        As always, you have brought in a great perspective. I believe you are right when you say that it is upto us to allow our trauma to pass on or not. Indeed it remains on us what baggage of emotions and thoughts we choose to carry and for how long.While, as you say, memories may remain embedded within us, how we allow this to influence our thoughts and actions depends on us. We may choose to continue to wallow in self pity and self or we may choose to learn from the incident and move on into a future of possibilities. This choice remains with us.

        Thank you for the lovely comment and thought you have brought in.

        Shakti

        Like

Leave a comment