My Bad is stronger than my Good.


“I’m an accumulation of every single thing I’ve done, good and bad.”

                                           David Millar, Scottish Road racing cyclist champion

 

Morals preach at me, “Love thy neighbour…… Do Good unto others…” I stand brainwashed to believe that Paradise beckons as I align my thoughts and actions to the goodness of my values.

Millennia of Religion and philosophy have depicted human life as that eternal conflict between the Good and Bad. The Goodness of Creation and Harmony ranged against the Badness of Destruction and Chaos. As I look down from the metaphysical level, I recall ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’ amongst the earliest words I learnt as a child. All my fairy tales and comic books dealt with the likes of Krishna vs. Kanksh, Superman vs. Lex Lothar et al. I go through life and see my ‘Bad ‘instincts of jealousy and fear battle against the ‘Good’ strivings of my intentions and fulfillment.

I surf the news channels and notice how much thoroughly ‘Bad’ and negative information is investigated and followed through as compared to ‘Good’ and positive developments. Almost as if we are waiting to imbibe and carry away all the bad impressions and stereotypes. Could it be that we get attracted and these are quicker to form within us?

My colleague wins a lottery and feels elated. The euphoria however scarcely lasts for a couple of days and I can sense that the feel good level quickly returns to what it had been before the lottery win. The same person however gets into a prolonged bout of unhappiness and blame game when he incurs a loss in the stock market, a fraction of what he had won.

I remain witness to how a loving relationship between my friend and his spouse so easily degenerates into a break-up from a single anger-driven destructive action. Several positive overtures and communications fail to heal the rupture.

As I drive on the crowded roads, I become enraged from a single case of rash driving. As I leave the scene fuming, I scarcely notice the multitude of folks who give way and allow me to pass. My emotions can scarcely be quelled, be it by such good behaviour or kindness. The ‘bad’ memory remains vivid and I continue to rant about it on the dinner table, hours later.

As I go through life, do I see a Bad Good asymmetry? A negative bias towards Bad. Be it in the reports in media and in everyday events as above…

I look inwards and sense that I too am more motivated to avoid bad self perceptions than to pursue good ones. I muse and wonder why this is so. Could this be because ‘Bad’ signals that I need to change? And does my ‘Bad’ intuitively push me to adapt and change myself in line with a situation or environment? So does ‘Bad’ condition me to become more flexible and adaptive to an ever-changing world? Is this why my Bad is stronger and thus more relevant than my Good?

Author: Shakti Ghosal

* A PCC Credentialed Executive Coach mentor and trainer for leaders & performance. * A qualified engineer and a PGDM (Faculty Gold medalist) from IIM Bangalore. * Four decades of industry experience spanning Engineering, Maintenance, Projects, Consumer durables, Supply Chains, Aviation and Tourism. * Top level management positions to drive business development, strategy, alliances all around the globe. * A visiting faculty at the IIMs. *A passion to envision trends & disseminate Leadership incubation globally. www.empathinko.in , * www.linkedin.com/in/Shaktighosal. shakti.ghosal@gmail.com . +91 - 9051787576

75 thoughts on “My Bad is stronger than my Good.”

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  4. Hi Shakti,
    May I say thank you for your most welcome visit upon my post. The Good,Bad, and the Ugly, I have just been re-reading you post and some of the most excellent comments on here,… Isn’t still amazing how the Bad draws people in..
    I often think of ourselves as magnets.. each tuned into a frequency that pulsates to a certain vibration. either positive or negative..
    I think those who are constantly drawn into the negative who thrive upon such vibration are tuned into that frequency of being… We can all of us turn the dial at whim… and act either by our thinking good or bad thoughts,, but some I feel have no control over their dial any more as they are driven by the frequency itself..
    The Universe isn’t aware One Frequency is any lesser than the other.. for within the make-up of the vibrations Both are equal in merit.. for both are needed.. its how we use and portray the Bad/ Negative energy..its about how we see ourselves .. I am told even Hitler didn’t see himself as Bad, ( I may cause some controversy here apologies in advance ) as he saw himself as trying to make a new race of super beings upon this planet .. His followers and dictators put into action the motions of his thoughts committing the evilness of his idea.. which then escalated as the vibration took hold upon the planet as more and more got drawn into the vibration of evil and depression and oppression ..

    What many forget is that we need both to experience this reality .. What we learned from that experience in the second world war, was we never wanted to see that happen again.. And yet in many many places around the world we watch the same type of atrocities being committed upon peoples around our planet as the News reports the wars, while other nations stand back and do nothing.. Unless there is some ‘Gain’ in it for themselves..

    We can ask ourselves WHO is Bad, and WHO is Good over and over… It is in all of us if we were put to the test to defend ourselves for our survival. it is in built within us all ..

    Even those who call themselves ‘Spiritual’ enlightened beings need the bad in order to portray the Good.. How else would we know they were Good?

    The energy is a mixture of both and we are now seeing a gathering momentum of our thought processes as we generate the Fear of the Bad which can only escalate the vibration of Fear even more..
    Our world is coming full circle in its evolutionary cycle and we are like a giant washing machine at this moment. being churned up emotionally as the energy is affecting us all at different levels of being..
    Even the weather is a reflection as we are all part of the whole..
    I hope as we go through these changes we can find our balance once again..
    For Balance is the Key in all of this…
    Wishing you a Very Good Day my friend.. and again my head ran away with my hands.. 😉
    ~Sue

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    1. Wow Sue, what an absolutely great and insightful perspective!

      What resonates with me and I quote, “… The Universe isn’t aware One Frequency is any lesser than the other.. for within the make-up of the vibrations Both are equal in merit.. for both are needed.. its how we use and portray the Bad/ Negative energy..its about how we see ourselves .. ” As I think of what you have said, so many new line of thoughts surface. What you are saying is to have the awareness that nothing, in itself, is Good or Bad. It is all about how it has served us at a point in time.

      I also love the aspect of Balance you have alluded to. I totally agree with you on this. Awhile back, I had written a post on this, “Age of Discontinuity and the Chinese Shi.” I quote from there:

      “In a world fast losing traditional reference points, the future may well belong to those who adopt a Shi mindset. Those who embrace the lightness of relationships and flows rather than the heaviness of resource ownership. I believe it would be these ‘dancers of the moment’ who would lead the world in this era of uncertainty and discontinuity.”

      Not sure if you had read it so I give the link here again.

      https://esgeemusings.com/2012/06/16/age-of-discontinuity-and-the-chinese-shi/

      Cheers and God Bless.

      Shakti

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      1. Hi Shakti, thank you,, Re-reading it was quite a mouthful.. but often I have to go with the flow of thought… and Yes the future does belong to those who Dance in the Moment.. and Flow with the energy… Harmony and Balance is a state of Being as we embrace the Peace from Within ourselves and only when enough experience internally will we experience Externally that which we create.. .. ‘as within so without.’ As above So Below… Etc.. . .

        We are Energy Beings…’Light Beings’ and resonate within a frequency of sound… Hence we are taught.. “” In the beginning was the Word and the Word was God “”” God Being Sound.. Vibration… Energy…. not one Super Being!..

        We are all making a sound that reflects our thought patterns.. and as such we attract similar vibrations .. We are at the moment tuning up our instruments Shakti, and we all know how that sounds as the Orchestra warms up.. But once they begin to play in harmony what a wonderful sound they create..

        That is why Balance is needed…. and why I am always speaking of not attaching ourselves to the Drama’s of our Media Control who are in fact keeping our vibrations in a low key.. as we allow ourselves to become angry and hateful as the BAD is portrayed around the world.. Like in my post the Good Bad and Ugly I spoke of..

        Right now to visit your other Post thank you for the link.
        Sue

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      2. Dear Sue,

        I stand transfixed and transformed by the flow of your thoughts. They bring forth such beauty and spontaneity! I love the metaphor of the orchestra, the tuning of our instruments. Indeed we attract similar vibrations just as we get repelled by disharmony…Your post on the Good, Bad and Ugly was superb.

        Cheers and God Bless.

        Shakti

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  5. We are all students, we on this planet, we are indeed just beginning to understand, really comprehend what life and living means. It is a good start I think, worthy for a fledgling human race fraught with the need to know the natures of our kind, it seems slow but it is a heartbeat away from the next step. Slow going, progress none the less. See what you are accomplishing here for example! Thank you for your thought provoking words and sharing them with others. We learn this way best, I think! Penny

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    1. Hi Penny,

      That is indeed profound and beyond the script of what I set out to do in my last post.This awareness of moving forward, this faith in our own selves is, I guess, the greatest gift we can bring to humanity and future generations.Thank you for this great insight. I appreciate your presence.

      Shakti

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  6. Shakti,
    I read this somewhere (probably Malcolm Gladwell) on a study of tennis players. The study found that the difference in ability between the top players in terms of ability was very little but he found a certain habit associated with the very top players. After every loss of a point, they turned away from the net cleared out their mind and went about the next point like nothing had happened. The players who are not at the very top did not have this routine and many lost the subsequent points because of one ‘bad’ play.
    Every week, I struggle with this concept in the context of sports, my weekly tennis doubles game, knowing that my ‘bad’ should not sabotage my ‘good’. Sometimes I succeed, many times I don’t and implode.
    I think the ‘bad’ is a tipping point, the ‘unforced error’, the missed overhead that completely throws you off. The ‘good’ is routine. You are expected to hold your serve. When you cannot because of pressure from the other side of the net you have the perception that it is because you folded or were ‘bad’ . It was probably not because you were ‘bad’ but the other person was too good at that point in time. Not applicable in all cases, sometimes you were just ‘bad’.
    Once watched a US Open match (couple of years ago probably) between Murray and Tipsarevic. Murray was cruising till there was a ‘bad’ call. He blew up and out of the Grandstand court went his chances of winning that match.
    Be a rational perfectionist if you need to be one. Give leeway to oneself and to your doubles partner to screw up. Forgive and forget ..so hard to.
    You are expected to land on Mars – so ‘good’ is the old normal. When the spacecraft blows up, or you lose the Mars Rover,the ‘bad’ is the new normal which you constantly try to avoid in future. Not a bad thing really in many cases.

    Tathagata

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    1. Hi Tathagata,

      What a novel way of creating awareness and self understanding about what creates and even impacts our Good and our bad!You are so right and I quote you here albeit with some change, ” … the “bad” becomes our new normal and we use it as a compass not only to decide on what to avoid but also to push us out of our comfort zones.”

      I appreciate your presence here.

      Shakti

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  7. I have no idea why human nature is like this, but I think you have found some answers in your last paragraph. The conclusions you reach are both simple and profound. Like a toothache will motivate us to get to the dentist, so will bad push us toward good, to stop the pain. And sure enough, as soon as the pain is gone, we go on our merry way, forgetting it was ever there. Until the next time. I think, perhaps, that if we could stay awake to the wonders, we wouldn’t need the pain to awaken us, but it is our nature to sleep and forget.

    It takes practice to remain aware of good, but bad is noticed in an instant.

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    1. Hi Judee,

      Indeed, “It takes practice to remain aware of good, but bad is noticed in an instant” The question we need to ask is why is that. And that is what I have endeavoured to find out. Yes,it is human nature to forget but that I believe is necessary for us to conserve ourselves and our mental focus for the unexpected and the unknown “Bad” out there. And this , to me, is the reason why we are able to notice the bad and the untoward in an instant as we are conditioned to do that for our own preservation and safety.

      I loved your insightful comment.

      Shakti

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  8. Shakti,

    It is quite interesting to note that almost everyone who has responded here is expressing remorse that they are not able to live more in good thoughts than bad. Like I had mentioned in my earlier post, we humans appear to be wired that way and in my opinion not all bad thoughts are equally bad and in fact some, or even a lot of them could actually be beneficial to us. In fact it would be unwise to wish for only good thoughts all the time!! Let me explain. If we are planning to achieve something or do something, we plan in advance most of the time, but sometimes it is a spur of the moment also. We all wish and hope that everything goes according to our plan. However, we all know and have experienced several times in our lives nothing ever goes exactly according to our plan. So when something bad or unexpected happens an individual who only wants to have good thoughts will have to improvise some other way of getting it done which may or may not lead to the most desirable outcome. However, If an individual could entertain negative thoughts as well they would have a plan B or a C to fall back on if plan A does not work. Ofcourse, if all the plans fail then they will have to improvise as well but atleast they are better prepared to deal with the situation than the individual who wishes and hopes that everything will go their way. I think in a way it is a safety mechanism to aid us in this uncertain and unpredictable world. So let us not wish for only good thoughts because we know that bad things do happen and we have to be able to deal with it if it happens by being prepared for it.

    Cheers,

    Sesh

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    1. Yes Sesh, you seem to have found the right perspective here.

      We need to have the realisation that in the world every aspect remains on a Good to Bad continuum. Not because they are absolute Good and Bad but how thay show up in our individual lives.The Bad aspects remain relevant, even more so, as they serve us to shift, move and grow.With this realisation, we can gain the capacity to rise and take a vantage view of the Good – Bad continuum and its relevance to us at this point in time.

      Great thoughts, thank you.

      Shakti

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      1. Shakti, our Chinmaya Mission Swamiji used say that our minds can spin thoughts at random, good and bad like a movie trailer. He said that the key to mind control is not in trying to suppress or ignore bad thoughts and try to steer the mind towards good ones, but rather just watch them go by like you would a movie. Unless we actually act on a bad thought or even a good thought in the real world they are just thoughts and nothing will happen. So like an interested observer we should just note what the mind is spinning and then we can choose to act on what is good. It is a difficult thing to do no doubt but we are rational beings an so we can choose to act rationally than impulsively.

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  9. I absolutely agree with every word Shakti! Have always wondered why the elation over something gained is so fleeting, compared to prolonged dejection over even minor losses! Your surmise seems to have some merit. We are probably genetically engineered to adapt to bad stimuli to ensure the survival of our species. There is after all no perceived threat from the good. Scary thought!

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    1. Madhu,

      As always you have so beautifully paraphrased and brought out the essense of the post. I find your closing thought and I quote, “There is after all no perceived threat from the good.” so deep and philosophical.Does this mean that our societal consciousness as also our individual socialisation somehow conditions us to shift away from “good”? And if this be so, can we
      re-engineer our thinking to actively embrace Good….. even if it leads to a status quo at the individual level? Would this require a perspective shift in us to give more importance to the greater good than to individual aggrandisement?

      You have really triggered a new line of thought here, Madhu, and I appreciate you for that and your presence.

      Shakti

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  10. This post is blowing my mind, along with your last post. You have no idea (or maybe you do!) how relevant these two posts are – it’s as though you and I have been surfing the same cosmic wave. I’ve tried and tried to write about these things, but due to time constraints, I’ve not fully formed anything worth publishing – though you ought to see my journals! I keep asking myself why I seem to slip back into this ‘negative’ groove (for lack of a better term) or behavior, over and over again. Don’t I know better? (I do!) And yet your suggestion that this ‘badness’ has merit or purpose certainly holds allure – for if it does not, I would seriously question my sanity. And so I continue examining the minutae of my life in order to rout out that which does not pull up even with my heart’s noble intentions. Blessings, Shakti.

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    1. Hi Bela,

      Wow! I am so delighted to see you back with your usual incisive and great thoughts.Indeed, many of us do “surf the cosmic wave.” (I never cease to be amazed at your wonderous ability to paint word pictures like you have done with this phrase!) I guess many of us are genetically similar and apt to “look inwards” as we muse. As we do this, we would reach similar conclusions.

      So yes, I do seem to be reaching the conclusion that our “Bad” does serve a purpose and at times protects and makes us shift to a new place.

      Bela, thank you, I appreciate you.

      Shakti

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  11. An honest and brave post! I too struggle between the good and evil in me. Anyone who says they don’t is a saint. I think it is both a blessing and a curse. In end , I hope that my good side will prevail, till then, the battle continues.

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    1. Hi,

      Yes indeed, as we go out with the right intentions, we will overcome and ensure that “Good” prevails. We could do this by small and frequent acts of Goodness.

      Thank you for your presence.

      Shakti

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  12. Great post. Why is it easier to focus on the negative? Is it a learned response or are we designed that way? I know I work really hard to try to notice those small good things– not always successfully. But when it works, it’s a great thing.

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    1. Hi,

      I guess it is easier to focus on the negative as we are conditioned to improve our own situation. Focussing on the negative and its associated challenges therefore allows us to move into action, gives us a sense of purpose and achievement.

      And yes, we need to develop the attitude to notice our blessings.

      Thank you for your acknowledgement.

      Shakti

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  13. I often wonder why I allow a negative comment or bad experience to influence me longer than a positive comment or a good experience. I think it comes down to how I see myself. I tend to believe the negative about myself and brush off the positive as “little white lies” told to me by people who love me and so are prejudiced. But the truth is, it is often the opposite. Those who comment negatively or create disharmony often do so because of an insecurity and a negativity inside of themselves. So that is what they project to others.
    It can take courage to think and live positively, especially when the world tends to feed on negativity. You are often accused of being naive, simple and even foolish. But to that I say give me the laughter of an innocent child any day over the phony, cynical supposedly sophisticated conversation of negative adults.
    I think whether we allow bad or good to influence us is really our choice, isn’t it? The bad has a more shocking effect and will affect us immediately, but how long we allow that feeling to linger is really our choice. We can not prevent both black and white birds from flying into the branches of our tree, but we can keep the black birds from building a nest there. 🙂

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    1. Hi WFB,

      What a fabulous and insightful comment! Thank you.

      What jumps out at me is your comment, ” Those who comment negatively or create disharmony often do so because of an insecurity and a negativity inside of themselves.” This indeed is the essence of much of our interactions and forms the basis of ‘games people play’.I had in fact alluded to this aspect in one of my earlier posts and would invite you to visit:

      https://esgeemusings.com/2012/06/01/what-if/

      Yes, it does take courage to think and live positively.We need to consciously ground ourselves to our values. As we align our intentions accordingly, we regain faith in our own selves and become less dependent or effected by what others think or say.Innocence of a child succeeds only because it yet has no emotional or experiential baggage to carry.

      I like your analogy of the white and black birds.

      I appreciate your presence here.

      Shakti

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    1. Great perspective Happyhugger.As you hold the intention and the mental muscle to ‘cling onto the Good’, you end up spreading positive energy into the world.So yes, it does make sense.

      Thank you.

      Shakti

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  14. I do find that very occasionally, I am inclined to see the negative rather than the positive in both people and situations. I don’t really know why that should be, as most of the time, I’m a really happy person. It’s almost as if a dark cloud is hanging right over my head, preventing me from looking up at the light. When I feel this pessimism clouding my judgment or I’m feeling down, I have to remind myself that life is too short to spend time brooding on what might have been, or what could happen in the future, as it just gives me less time to enjoy the good things that life might have to offer me right now.

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    1. Hi,

      So you are in fact subscribing to what I have endeavoured to analyse in my post. Yes, even emperical studies seem to show this. But to me the way forward is to balance every aspect of “bad” or negative in our lives with multiple small acts of “Good”.

      Thank you.

      Shakti

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  15. It’s just a thought away ! Negative is the absence of positive….so positive is what IS. It really all depends on us. I enjoyed this write-up…we all really dnt think much abt all this in the daily tiny matters of life..but if we do and try to make even small changes…life wd surely be much easier…
    best wishes !

    Like

    1. Hi Varsha,

      Yes, our thoughts do depend on us and how much we have trained ourselves to be disciplined in this aspect. But my post is really about the propensity of Bad situations to influence us more than Good ones.So while we indeed may be able to train ourselves and change our perception about something which we may not be able to control, the reality may continue to be otherwise.

      Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it.

      Shakti

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    1. That indeed is a great thought! I guess this awareness of the polarity of our GOOD and BAD and the conitnuum in between makes us choose where we would like to land. This choice gets based on our life experiences. Thank you for commenting.

      Shakti

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  16. One of my friend told me why good always leave nothing and lost and I recalled my answer was it’s better to get hurt, have nothing and lost than doing wrong or continue doing wrong but sometimes bad is stronger than our good it depends on individual experiences, environment and perception….

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    1. Hi WOH,

      Yes it does boil down to our individual experiences, the perceptual lens created thereof and how that influences our judgement and emotions on circumstances. Thank you for your comments.

      Cheers

      Shakti

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  17. Everything in nature is balanced – there is as much bad as there is good. It just depends which leaves the greater impression on you. My mother always told me ‘It’s not what happens to you that is important, it’s the way you deal with it.’ I have met people who have wonderful lives and complain about everything little thing and then I’ve met people who have had tragic lives and they are rays of sunshine, appreciating every little thing. 🙂

    Like

    1. Dianne,

      That indeed is a great observation. What your Mom told you is so relevant – “It is not the circumstances which effect us but our perception and our consequent reaction to it which takes centre stage in our lives.” You may be right when you say there may be as much Good as Bad and really all depends on us and how we percieve a situation and our take-away from that.

      In my post however I have strived to explore the underlying cause why our “Bad” in fact seems to influence us more incisively than our “Good.” My experience seems to indicate that is so.

      I appreciate you for your presence here.

      Shakti

      Like

  18. Shakti da,
    Human revolution is the key..All of us have ten worlds within us..as per Buddhist understanding..some of these ten worlds are evil and some are good..we all have them but the proportion is
    different.Greed,anger,hunger,animality,hell,stupidity,rapture,ecstacy,bodhisatva and buddhahood.We keep fluctuating in these worlds..some of us overpower the negative and try to reach our purest form..i.e. tapping Buddhahood..a state of tranquility..which ,when reached makes us believe there is some good even in bad situation.( I wish I had the strong urge to become that)but I tend to sometimes deviate and react as per situation.You are right,Bad imprints last much longer within us,because sometimes,we expect to be treated as we treated them..even on road,we follow rules, we are disciplined..and suddenly someone supercedes us or hurts us,we wud definitely feel bad..but a person who has ‘arrived’..may feel,that guy must be in a hurry..or panic ,may He/she find peace ..
    Yes,this is a constant struggle within but we need to constantly work on ourselves to keep washing our canvas and not allow any dull/unpleasant colours to settle permanently.People who sit in meditation usually introspect and do this on daily basis..even those who don’t meditate and are happy-go-lucky kind,might be seeing good more and ignoring the bad.
    Very well written article I must say..appreciate ur vocabulary and the theme too Shakti da.Thanks for sharing.

    Like

    1. Hi Babs,

      I am indeed delighted to have your presence here. I love your observation of how the “arrived” individual would rationalise the other person’s behaviour.Taking your rationalisation a little further, I would “see” the other person’s behaviour stems from his own insecurity, hunger for control, need for attention etc.This would allow me to shift away from my normal reactive space of anger, dislike, taking the behaviour personally to the realisation that it has really little to do with me.

      And Babs, thank you for your kind appreciation, it means a lot.

      Cheers

      Shakti Ghosal

      Like

  19. Shakti, a very well articulated thought and some very thought-provoking responses….

    One thing though that life teaches us is that good and bad are not ‘absolutes’ (“Dhruva sattya”) and the distinction often blurs – depending on the context and individual value systems. What is ‘bad’ in our general every day perception, often takes a different hue in another situation – and it goes by various names – “necessity”, “unfortunate collateral damage”, “all is fair in love & war” and so on……… As for individual values defining the two, let us take a simple example. Using the office phone for personal calls might be a complete “no no” for you and me – but even some really ‘good’ souls would say that’s stretching things beyond ‘reasonableness’!….. Taking someones life is a sin for us as individuals, but the state can do so in the name ‘justice’ and as a ‘deterrent’!……. Mr. Einstein’s theory perhaps transcends the physical world to embrace the metaphysical too!!……

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    1. Lovely Dada, I find your comment so insightful.Indeed nothing is ‘absolute’ in this Universe and as Einstein showed us nearly a century century back, the distinction blurs depending on the platform one is standing on and the perception lens one is peering through. And since our perception lens gets created by our socialisation process and past experiences, the view from each of our individual “window” differs and so does the “truth” of our observation.That becomes the essence of the relative reality you have alluded to. The point you have made about aligning our values to our thoughts is a great one for stability and moving forward in our lives.

      I appreciate you.

      Shakti

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  20. Hi Shakti,

    You make an interesting observation indeed. I think in a way the universe itself has been designed to be that way – more of sand, rocks, dust and gas than precious metals. If everything was perfect I don’t think we would even exist. That is why in all the man-made religions of this world human beings are depicted as deficient in some way and the goal in life is to aspire and work to become the “pure” and noble spiritual source that we all come from. Even though we are all born into this world not by our own choice we attribute it to our own bad deeds in the past life and so we have to dust up our credentials in this life to become good again!! Ofcourse, if you had done good deeds in your previous life you would have gone to heaven instead!! I belive it is all in our minds and until such time human beings discover how this “mind” factor works there is no true salvation.

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    1. Hi Sir,

      Great to see you back and your astute comment. To be frank, I had not thought of the perspective you have brought in which encompasses creation itself. My post was on a modest scale as I analysed my own situation and a few of my interface zones.If I read you correctly, what you are saying is that the very traction which moves us towards “Good” exists only because of the presence of “Bad”. Relevant indeed.

      Cheers

      Shakti

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      1. Shakti,

        You certainly seem to have struck a chord with a lot of people from the varied responses I see here. I mentioned your blog posting to my wife and she immediately started with “ah hah!! I told you so”, with a knowing look. She has needled me several times in the past for delving more into the negatives than the positives of a person/situation. I used to think that I was the only one guilty of such a thing but when I saw your post it was quite heart-warming to know that I was not unique. My wife would never concede that she does it too on a selective basis when that person/situation happens to be her in-laws or about them!! Atleast I am consistent and don’t filter out when and for whom I should do it. As you can imagine I have in the dog house for pointing that out!!

        On a serious note, I think you have hit upon a real issue here because we humans in general are always seeking/wishing for something bad to happen even if we are surrounded by a lot of good. For example, when something is going great, we just don’t enjoy that moment but start looking to see if something bad is around the corner. If it is too good to be true then there must be something really bad underneath is our perception. On the other hand if something is really bad does anyone even think that there may something good under it? – never. If someone becomes rich and/or famous, immediately we start digging to dish out the dirt on them. Like I said in my earlier comment, we are wired to think negatively by default. Ofcourse, some people might be able recognize this tendency and either take action to suppress or ignore such thoughts but can anyone deny that such thoughts arise in the first place? I guess not.

        I admire and applaud you for having the courage to write about such abstract things as we are all too caught up in this pragmatic world busy catching up with the rat race.

        Sesh

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      2. Thank you Sesh, for coming in again with your thoughts and musing.Reading about how your wife feels about the in-laws did strike a chord…. But we need to retain the consciousness of what really is at the core of these emotions and what’s going on there.

        Thank you also for your kind acknowledgement. I appreciate you!

        Shakti

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  21. We can all see the dilemma and propose our understanding of the inequitable time spent dwelling on one versus another. What I see is your strength of character in examining the disparity and challenging yourself as to the why. Not many do as you Shakti!

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  22. Shakti, there are times when the negative tape loop in my head overrides all the positives in my life. Try as I might, the “bad” images consume me. As to why we should be “good” rather than “bad,” all major religions have this basic tenet: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” So, I try to conduct myself in a way that invites a positive vibe/reaction. Not because I fear eternal damnation if I don’t.

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    1. Hi Judy,

      Could this therefore be the underlying reason why all major religions put so much of focus in preaching “good” morals? Because through ages and aeons humanity has been prone to come face to face with “Bad” much more often? I wonder….

      Thank you for your presence, I appreciate you.

      Shakti

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      1. In a sense, I’m channeling Mr. Spock of Star Trek here, “it’s just logical.” If religion preached and practiced the Golden Rule, I have taken in its lessons.
        If I were to treat someone badly, then why would I expect that person to treat me well. Maybe, it’s self-preservation. If I’m kind to that person, they’ll be nice back. It doesn’t always work out that way … but, I think it does more often than not. Thank you for your response.

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      2. Thank you for coming in with these thoughts. Yes, this awareness of “action-reaction” of what our behaviour and intentions may bring in is what makes us Human I guess.

        Shakti

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  23. I think some one somewhere did a survey once upon a time, and the Negative came out on top.. Because people seem to hold onto those negative memories more than the positive happier ones,
    When we understand that there has to be opposites, for this is the Nature of the Universe, for without that Negative we couldn’t experience the Positive.. So there is neither one better than the other, just experience!… For if we didnt have those Negatives there would be No Positives to experience.. One is no greater than the other.. Just our perceptions of them within our Codes of conduct.. For some it can seem Wrong or Bad to Rob a person, while the Robber may think differently, thinking you have something I want so I will take it..he hasn’t got that same Code of conduct or conscience..
    Now our views of Good and Bad within that Positive and Negative are different.. for we can say one act is bad while another will not think it to be so bad..
    Yes I know there are Kind acts and Evil acts…. We have a conscience which perceives and morals which guide us..

    Within each of us there are Good and Bad… there has to be, for we make judgements within our lives, we always have a choice.. We can either Help or Hinder, be cruel or kind… Love or hate.. be peaceful or full of anger… Each of us have all experienced some of these emotions,, its why we came to this planet to learn and grow..
    Without mistakes without those hurts, without those Joys we cannot experience the opposites…

    We need to live in balance of these two opposites… this is the key… We are All of Good and we are All of bad… learning to balance the two is what brings us our experiences…

    I know without my own past mistakes, or pain or hurt…I would not be who I am today… If I were cocooned from harm or hurt, Would I really learn ? No… For to grow we need the pain, we need the bad…
    And apologies for my soap box speech once again…
    But I let my head let my fingers type as my thoughts tumble forth…

    Enjoy your day Shakti and blessings to you and your family..
    Sue xx

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    1. You are so right, Sue. Emperical evidence and in fact a few studies have shown that Bad ( or rather its perceived influence on us) seems to be stronger than Good.

      What continues to resonate with me is the following sentence of yours, ” Without mistakes without those hurts, without those Joys we cannot experience the opposites……” This indeed is the essence of our awareness nay our very consciousness.

      I loved your comment and would like to thank you for sharing it here.

      Appreciatingly yours

      Shakti

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  24. Greetings Shakti…..I have wondered about this very thing for a very long time now. Being as how in all actuality we are inherently good beings created from love, but have been brainwashed into seeing the negatives in life by the dark ones agendas and because we are trapped for now in our crazed world of duality where both bad and good are necessary, I would have to say conditioning. But, with that said, I really like your take on the bad being our catalyst for changing and that is why we think it. Then again I look around me and see so many negative people treading water, going nowhere quickly and I have to think “Hummm?” It certainly isn’t helping them any. I guess that is where our gift of choice comes in. We are shown bad to instigate change and it is up to us if we do it or not. I still think conditioning the strongest because we have been trained to see bad and feel we are bad as part of our oppression. Yet another brain teaser Shakti! I love it…Thinking is what keeps our brain muscle strong and powerful. I thank you for that. Blessings to you….VK

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    1. Hi VK,

      That is a great perspective. Our conditioning or should I call it our socialisation remains integral to this. I guess we need to condition ourselves to look for opportunities and learning within our bad experiences. We need to hold the belief that our “Bad” surely served us at a point of time but may not be doing so now.That perspective would surely shine the light on self development path.

      Thank you for your kind comment VK. It motivates me to take up such issues.

      Shakti

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  25. Someone once told me: you can have a thousand great meals in a restaurant, and then you’ll have one bad meal, and that’s the one you’ll remember. We humans get so sucked in by the bad…I think it is so traumatizing and unnatural for us that we fear a return of it so instead of focusing on the good we go through life focusing on how to keep the bad away…just a thought!

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    1. Hi Margarita,

      So right you are when you say that many of us move through life dreading the Bad which may befall us. How do we end up getting socialised into such a negative perspective? But as I look around, I seem to notice a large majority falling into this category.Does this again prove that the Bad is stronger than the Good?

      I appreciate your presence and thank you for your comment.

      Shakti

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      1. No, Bad is never stronger than Good. That’s just an impression. I think we get socialized into this way of thinking by our notions of reward and punishment, by our concept of duality in general. While both Good and Bad are impressions, perceptions, a point of view, for millenia we’ve been told to avoid punishment, so we remember how that feels. I don’t see a whole lot out there that reminds us how Good feels…and even what is out there about good tells us to avoid feeling it.

        In my opinion, it’s about our understanding of power and our belief that we must hold the monopoly on power in order to move forward. Another illusion!

        Thanks for allowing me to express my viewpoint, Shakti! All the best, M

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      2. Hi Margarita,

        When you say Bad can never be stronger than Good, you may be right though emperical evidence does not seem to support that. Yes, indeed our Good and Bad come down to our perceptions. My intention in exploring my Bad and Good in the post was to try and understand the duality and where I belong on the continuum. And the underlying reason why my “Bad” influences me more than my “Good”.

        Thank you for this dialogue, Margarita.

        Shakti

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