Listening as an activity seems passive and an easy one. It is not. When someone speaks to us, we end up listening though a mesh of beliefs, prejudices, preconceived notions, and past relational baggage. What we end up really ‘hearing’ in our brains is a distorted version of what was communicated.
For listening to be effective, it needs to land for us with minimal distortion. To do that we need to master the art of Active Listening. Which is listening without intention, without judgment, without RIGHT or WRONG.
I would like to relate an incident of an irate customer from a previous assignment. He was a regular buyer of our services but on that day, he came to book a family holiday and said he would pay once he returned. Such credit to individuals was not allowed as per company policy. The counter supervisor tried to reason with him but he got even more upset and stormed into my office.
Customer: “I can’t believe this, the way I have been treated just now. After all these years, are you guys telling me you don’t trust me? I have tried to explain to your supervisor but he throws the rule book at me.”
Sensing the anger and upset, I decided against trying to explain and opted to listen empathetically. As the customer continued to rant, I maintained eye contact, nodded sympathetically, and made verbal assertions like, ‘I see’, ‘I understand’.
When the customer finally stopped, I said, “I heard what you said and realise how upset and unacknowledged you must be feeling. You mentioned that you wish to make the payment of your much awaited holiday package after your return. Have I understood you right?”
The customer for the first time cooled down. “Yes, that is correct. I find it demeaning that your company does not trust me.”
“Okay, this is what we could do,” I said. “You could give us a post-dated cheque and I will authorize its acceptance as a special case.”
Now, this was not at all an innovative solution and could have been offered earlier also. So what could have been the reason for this not happening? Clearly, the engagement had been more about protecting one’s own turf and resolution had not been part of the mindsets.
As I think back to that situation, I can see that the active listening demonstrated in that interaction is what resolved the situation. The eye contact and nods, the acknowledgement of emotions, the paraphrasing and the offer of a solution is what allowed the customer to be heard, valued and reassured and be willing to co-create a resolution with me.
In Learning……………….. Shakti Ghosal
A New Beginning 