Category: performance

How to improve Power Listening in today’s Disruptive World


Introduction

In today’s dynamic and disruptive world, where change is the only constant, the ability to listen deeply and effectively—what we call ‘Power Listening’—has become an essential leadership and personal development skill. To many of us, Listening occurs as a passive process. No one notices when we tune off, we also retain the luxury of judging what we are hearing. This is also why Listening is a complex and demanding skill that needs conscious effort and self-awareness. I have always found it difficult to listen to what is being said with no intention, no judgment, no right or wrong.

In a landscape characterized by rapid technological advancements, shifting economic paradigms, and evolving workplace dynamics, power listening enables leaders, professionals, and individuals to navigate complexities with greater clarity, empathy, and strategic foresight.

According to Zenger and Folkman (2016) in their Harvard Business Review article What Great Listeners Actually Do, great listening goes beyond simply being silent while others speak. It involves active engagement, thoughtful questioning, and creating a safe space for open dialogue. Similarly, in The Power of Listening in Leadership (Forbes, 2021), Kevin Kruse emphasizes that effective listening strengthens leadership presence and fosters trust in professional relationships.

Understanding the Challenges of Listening

Despite its fundamental role in communication, listening is often overshadowed by speaking. Many assume they are good listeners, yet, as I have realized through personal introspection, listening is fraught with unconscious biases, preconceptions, and cognitive distractions. Each individual listens for different reasons and in unique ways, influenced by past experiences, emotions, and personal filters.

Reflecting on my own listening tendencies, I recognize that my ability to listen deeply is not always consistent. My engagement in a conversation depends largely on three factors: (1) my genuine interest and curiosity in the subject matter, (2) the perceived relevance and importance of the topic to me, and (3) the significance of the speaker in my personal and professional life. In the absence of these factors, I have observed a decline in my listening quality, often succumbing to perceptual blocks such as impatience, judgment, and the urge to prepare my response rather than truly absorbing the speaker’s message.

The Value of Power Listening

Power listening goes beyond hearing words—it involves deep engagement, empathy, and a conscious effort to understand the speaker’s perspective. I have personally found that when practiced effectively, power listening yields several benefits:

  1. Building Trust and Confidence: A powerful listener enhances the self-worth of others, creating an environment of psychological safety where individuals feel valued and heard.
  2. Enhancing Leadership Effectiveness: Leaders who listen powerfully cultivate stronger relationships, inspire loyalty, and encourage collaboration. Employees and stakeholders gravitate towards those who make them feel understood.
  3. Facilitating Problem-Solving and Innovation: Power listening fosters a collaborative and open atmosphere, enabling teams to engage in meaningful dialogue and address complex challenges effectively.
  4. Encouraging a Growth Mindset: When leaders listen without judgment, they instill confidence in others, encouraging a culture of learning, experimentation, and continuous improvement.

A Plan to Enhance Power Listening Skills

One might ask the question, ‘So what kind of a plan one needs to become a power listener?’ My plan included the following steps:

  1. Develop Self-Awareness: I continuously assessed my natural listening tendencies, acknowledged biases, and consciously worked to overcome them.
  2. Identify Communication Gaps: By reflecting on daily interactions, I could recognize patterns where my listening faltered and I needed to refocus back.
  3. Practice Active Listening: I needed to implement the following techniques in my conversations:
    1. Attentiveness: Focus on the speaker’s words, emotions, and underlying intent.
    1. Empathy: Place myself in the speaker’s position, avoiding premature judgment.
    1. Validation: Reflect back to the speaker meaningful insights to acknowledge and appreciate the speaker’s perspective.
    1. Mental Clarity: Train myself to resist formulating responses while listening.
    1. Patience: Allow space for the speaker to elaborate without interruption.
    1. Encouragement: Reinforce the speaker’s strengths and motivate action.

The Emotional Impact of Being Heard

Listening is not just a transactional activity—it is deeply emotional and relational. When I am truly listened to, I experience a profound sense of connection, self-worth, and trust. The act of being heard or having ‘being gotten’ fulfills an intrinsic human need, fostering intimacy and mutual respect. Philosophers have long argued that being listened to is one of the most powerful affirmations of one’s existence. It provides the confidence to articulate thoughts, process challenges, and move forward with clarity and purpose.

Conclusion

In an era where distractions are rampant and attention spans are shrinking, power listening stands as a critical skill that differentiates effective leaders and impactful professionals. It is a skill that must be cultivated with intentionality, self-reflection, and consistent practice. By refining our listening abilities, we could aspire to become a more empathetic, perceptive, and influential leader—one who not only hears but truly understands and empowers others. In doing so, one would contribute to a more engaged, collaborative, and resilient world.

In Learning……                                                   Shakti Ghosal

References

  • Zenger, J., & Folkman, J. (2016). What Great Listeners Actually Do. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from https://hbr.org
  • Kruse, K. (2021). The Power of Listening in Leadership. Forbes. Retrieved from https://www.forbes.com

#powerlistening, #leadershipeffectiveness, #disruptiveworld, #Zengerandfolkman,#Kruse, #Innovation,#growthmindset,#selfawareness, #communicationgaps, #activelistening,#empathy

Suns vs. Planets: Navigating Your Life’s Influences


“In life, we meet two kinds of people—those who shine like the sun, radiating wisdom and energy, often challenging yet deeply inspiring; and those who, like planets, reflect borrowed light, offering comfort but little growth. Choice remains ours- whether we choose to orbit the suns, or chase reflections.”

Life is a cosmic dance, a vast expanse where we cross paths with many kinds of people. Some shine with their own light—bright, intense, and sometimes difficult to stand too close to. They challenge us, push us beyond our comfort zones, which might make us feel humiliated or insecure. However they do ignite sparks of transformation within us. These are the suns—radiant sources of wisdom, energy, and inspiration.

Then there are those who do not generate their own light but instead reflect the glow of others. Like planets orbiting a star, they offer comfort, familiarity, and predictability. Their borrowed light may bring temporary warmth, but it does not fuel real growth. They move in predefined paths, circling endlessly, never venturing beyond what is known.

The question before us is simple yet profound: whom do we choose to orbit? Do we dare to brave the brilliance of the suns, knowing that their intensity might burn, but also illuminate new possibilities? Or do we settle for the steady, reflected glow of planets, avoiding discomfort but also forsaking true transformation?

The Challenge of the Suns

Suns in our lives come in many forms—mentors who push us to excel, leaders who challenge conventional thinking, friends who demand authenticity, or experiences that shatter complacency. These forces can be unsettling, their intensity requiring us to adapt, to evolve, and sometimes to withstand discomfort.

Yet, it is from these sources that we learn the most. They force us to question our assumptions, face our fears, and tap into strengths we never knew we possessed. They inspire us to expand our horizons, to break free from the gravitational pull of mediocrity, and to blaze our own trails. As Kouzes and Posner (2017) suggest in The Leadership Challenge, transformative leaders create environments where individuals are encouraged to experiment, innovate, and grow beyond their limitations.

The Sun: Steve Jobs and the Apple Revolution

Steve Jobs was a quintessential “sun”—intense, visionary, and sometimes difficult to work with. He challenged the status quo, demanding excellence from those around him. Many who worked closely with Jobs describe the experience as transformative, albeit tough. His relentless pursuit of innovation forced others to think differently, step beyond their comfort zones, and achieve greatness. Those who chose to stay in his orbit were often pushed to their limits but emerged stronger, more creative, and capable of making an impact.

Lesson: Following the light of a “sun” can be difficult, but it leads to extraordinary growth.

The Comfort of the Planets

Planets, on the other hand, offer familiarity. They provide steady companionship, reassuring words, and a sense of belonging. Their presence is not without valuable— at times we do need the comfort of the known, the stability of routine, the ease of like-minded company. However, if we linger too long in their orbit, we stagnate. The pursuit of borrowed light may seem safe, but it rarely leads to personal evolution.

Consider the case of corporate career paths. Many professionals spend decades in the same organization, never venturing beyond predefined career trajectories. They are competent and reliable but do not challenge existing structures. Meanwhile, those who step outside their comfort zones—whether by switching industries, seeking disruptive mentors, or engaging in lifelong learning—often experience exponential growth. Carol Dweck (2006), in her seminal work Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, emphasizes the importance of a growth mindset—embracing challenges, learning from criticism, and persisting in the face of setbacks.

The Planet: The Comfort of Routine in Corporate Careers

Consider an employee who has spent two decades in the same corporate job, doing well but never pushing beyond the familiar. He is competent, reliable, and comfortable in his position. However, his growth is limited—he reflects the expectations of his environment rather than shaping it. While his job provides security, he misses out on opportunities to innovate, learn new skills, or challenge himself.

Lesson: Comfort is not always conducive to progress. Staying in the orbit of planets can lead to stagnation.

Making the Choice

There is no right or wrong answer—only awareness. There are times in life when we need the warmth of planets, moments of rest and reassurance. But growth happens when we dare to reach for the suns. It is in their radiance that we find our own light, forging our path not as mere reflections but as luminous beings in our own right.

The choice is ours. Do we settle for the comfortable glow of borrowed light, or do we embrace the challenge of the suns, knowing that their brilliance will shape us into something greater?

In the grand design of the universe, we are not bound to any orbit. We are free to choose our celestial path. The only question that remains is—where will we set our course?

The Choice: Malala Yousafzai’s Defiance of the Status Quo

Malala Yousafzai, a young Pakistani girl, had a choice—to accept the constraints imposed by her environment (where education for girls was restricted) or to challenge the norms. She chose to orbit the “sun” of enlightenment, education, and progress, even at great personal risk. Today, she is a global advocate for education, inspiring millions.

Lesson: Choosing to orbit the “suns” of wisdom and progress, even in the face of adversity, can lead to transformational impact.

Conclusion

The world is full of both suns and planets, but ultimately, we decide which forces shape our journey. The challenge is to recognize when we are merely reflecting light and when we are generating our own. Growth, transformation, and true impact come from stepping into the orbit of those who challenge us, inspire us, and push us beyond our perceived limits.

 So, ask yourself—are you ready to seek the suns, even if their brilliance demands more of you? The answer will determine the trajectory of your life.

In Learning…….                                                                     Shakti Ghosal

References

  • Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
  • Kouzes, J. M., & Posner, B. Z. (2017). The Leadership Challenge: How to Make Extraordinary Things Happen in Organizations. Wiley.

How to Thrive Amid Disruption: Key Insights


 I had posted on a similar topic a couple of years back, but in a different context. It was based on an interaction I had with a participant in a workshop I had conducted then.

Winning in a Disruptive World

Interestingly, I was recently invited by the Goa Business School, Goa University to speak on the same topic.  What we were really looking at is succeeding in an environment that is constantly changing and being disrupted. By new technologies like AI, new competitors, new business processes. The question for us was, ‘So what does one do to win?’

I related a story from my own professional life.

In a past assignment, I was managing a Travel & Destination services t company. One of our major customer accounts was the national petroleum development organisation and because of the large business quantum, we had an implant operation with a dedicated team. Our service and response levels were appreciated by the client.

As our contract period was ending, the company released a tender for a subsequent period. Believing the client was happy with us, we submitted our competitive offer in line with what we had done during our last successful bid. When the tender was finalised, we were shocked to know that we had lost. When we asked the client’s commercial team, we were informed that we had not complied with the technical terms of the bid. Going back to the drawing board, we found that in the tender document, there had been a small section requiring development and implementation of a Travel management Services, TMS in short, software as part of the client’s intranet, which we had not responded to.

Soon, we had the opportunity to bid against a tender released by the National Gas Company. We noticed that in this tender document too, there was a requirement of implementing a TMS software. This time we were careful enough to comply with the requirement by indicating our willingness to develop. But we again lost the tender! The winner was a competitor who already possessed a fully developed TMS module and had provided a live demonstration of the same to the client.

We had been disrupted. By a new technology, a new competitor, which together had disrupted our traditional business mode, a model which had worked well all these years. The world had shifted, the business need in the environment had changed and the earlier alignment which our company’s competence set had with the environment, had been lost.

**

In 1849, French writer Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr wrote, “plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose” which in English translates to “the more things change, the more they stay the same.”

The above perspective is possibly at the heart of why we get disrupted. The human mind loves continuity and certainty. These allow us to make sense of what we see as stuff we are familiar with, which our brain does using mind models based on our past experiences. But what happens when we are faced with something we have never encountered before? Our brains somehow try to force fit these unknown inputs into one of our mind models. Even though we remain unaware, this ‘force fit’ sense making process leads to the observed inputs getting distorted, some parts get amplified while others which do not fit, get discarded. Thus, when we probabilistically try to predict, often we fail and get disrupted.

The disruptive world allows us to reside in a narrow band in the present with a hazy and uncertain future in front and the inability to take recourse of the past.  Thus to successfully negotiate we need to shift away from our usual probability-based mindset into a mindset of possibilities.

In the session I showcased certain action steps which would support us to do the shift.

I got around to explaining that the first Action step is to create a context for ourselves within our own domain through using hard trends in three areas viz. Demographics, Regulatory and Technology (DRT Context). The hard trends that we uncover become the framework of the context we are creating. Our context would allow us to view every situation in a particular manner.

At this juncture a participant asked for this step to be shown through a case study or live example. I elaborated using the example of the Aviation Industry.

Demographics: Major customer profile shift is occurring viz. growth of young budget traveller and the elderly. Communication technologies is leading to the decline of Business travel. Climate change is shifting the seasonality of leisure travel. Customer behavior is also changing, with short booking windows—often a week or two with fewer travelers making plans far in advance.

Regulatory: Climate change is leading to increased incidences of air borne diseases requiring changes in booking process e.g. Pre-flight testing, need for registration of previous and past travel etc. Technology is allowing airlines to have seamless connectivity within the travel ecosystem to increase demand + assist governments and regulators in creating worldwide / regional standards for hygiene as well as operations.

Technology: Integrated and contact less handling at the airport regarding access viz. boarding pass issual, traveller identification through eye scans, baggage check-in etc. Seat allotment keeping in mind traveler profile, past medical history etc.

Action Step 2 is about using our above created DRT context to make three lists. List of all that we are certain of, list of things we know, and list of things we can do. If we put in the requisite time to make the lists, new possibilities would start showing up for us, a reflection of our improved competence to shift into a possibility mindset.

Action Step 3 is about further sharpening the saw for possibility mindset creation. We do that by unplugging ourself from our present clutter and challenges, then plugging ourself into the future and then use the ‘hard trend’ context created in Step 1, the 3 lists of being certain, knowing and doing ability in Step 2 to do anticipatory & future back thinking through a structured enquiry.

Action Step 4 is about Relational Assimilation which is identifying and defining groups relevant to our business and optimising the group boundary level interactions to advance our own interests. It thus is all about addressing stakeholder concerns. So, who are these stakeholders? They are wide ranging entities. Starting from the company Owners. Employees, who are the internal stakeholders to Customers, suppliers, our banks and financiers- our external stakeholders. But we also have environmental stakeholders viz. local community, society at large and the Government and regulatory authorities. Each of the stakeholders impact the organisation and ourselves in some way, some directly, others indirectly. To ensure effective relational assimilation, we need to exhibit certain qualities in our interactions.

  •  Honouring or Integity of our word. Have we ever considered the fact that we are really equal to your word, nothing more , nothing less? We might see ourself as an individual with certain looks, qualifications, competencies etc. But to the outside world, we are perceived as our word. So, what is ‘Honouring our word’? This means keeping our word and as soon as we realize we are not able to do so, we need to inform all effected parties that we cannot keep our word within the time frame indicated earlier, offer a new time frame to do it and declare that we would take care of the consequences if any, of not keeping our word as per the earlier indicated time frame.

Can you see from what I just said that while it is not possible to keep our word under different situations, we can always ensure that we honour our word?

  • Being and acting consistent with who you are: This is all about being authentic. Bill George, former CEO, Medtronics and Professor of Leadership at Harvard Business School, concluded, “After years of studying leaders and their traits, I believe that Leadership begins and ends with authenticity.”

So how does one improve one’s own authenticity? Simply put, it is by being authentic about our inauthenticities’. We need to be publicly authentic about our inauthenticity with those around us for whom this inauthenticity matters.

  • Listening with no intention, no judgment, no Right or Wrong:. This is called Active Listening. A special kind of listening that we use to allow the speaker to articulate his or her own strongly held positions, views, rationalisations, justifications and unexamined beliefs. When we engage in active listening, we do it without colouring our own mind with our own intention, own judgments and our own views about what is being said being right or wrong. You could start with practicing active listening once a day and then slowly increasing the number till the trait becomes part of you.

As you make Integrity, Authenticity and Active Listening part of your repertoire for dealing with your stakeholders, you will see the significant upswing in empathy, respect and trust in your dealings. Action 4 is thus the catalyzing agent to ensure the achievement of the action steps you had created based on the first 3 actions.

With the participants

**

In the ultimate analysis, Winning in a disruptive world is all about  that ability to See, Comprehend & therefore Interact with life (and situation) differently than most people do. ‘Winners of a disruptive world SEE….and come to live in a different world.

In Learning….. Shakti Ghosal

How do we motivate our own self in the face of goal multiplicity and pathway uncertainty?


As I thought about this question, a workplace experience from the past showed up. In my first job, I was an Assistant Mechanical Engineer in an Electric Diesel Locomotive maintenance workshop of the Indian Railways. I seemed to be confronted with disparate and multiple problems like dirty work bays, breakdown of machines, the workers’ trade union raising different kinds of demands, and so on. As I tackled one issue, other workplace crises seemed to occur elsewhere. I was always firefighting with disparate problems with no overall improvements in terms of productivity and output.

 Over time, I became demotivated with ‘loser mindset’ thoughts which kept circling in my head. These thoughts were like ‘I am doing the best I can’, ‘No point in trying hard, nothing will change’, “I have a wrong boss, bad subordinates’… and so on. A kind of workplace lethargy set in, a laziness to try newer ways and the unwillingness to get out of the rut.

 My mind shifted during a footplate inspection when I experienced firsthand the problems faced by the travellers from locomotive failures. A context got created in my mind, ‘When we don’t operate timely schedules, people’s lives get effected’. As I brought this perspective as an overarching vision for myself, my day-to-day work focus, the language I would use, my handling of situations changed. I felt more energy flow, motivation, and excitement. What was more remarkable was that my team started aligning itself with the overarching vision. My passion seemed to be seeping into them as they perceived that the actions were also addressing their own concerns.

 As I think back, I can say that what can motivate us most is our ability to create an overarching vision which excites and pulls us towards goal achievement as more and more stakeholders start seeing the vision meaningful, relevant, and addressing their own concerns.

Recently, in a ‘Mindset Matters’ podcast, while discussing the above subject, we came to a counterintuitive and interesting perspective that the sheer act of encouraging someone else can lead to our own selves being encouraged and motivated to achieve our own goals.

Should you wish to listen to the podcast, do DM me and I would be happy to send the link.

In Learning……… Shakti Ghosal

Have you experienced the power of active listening?


Listening as an activity seems passive and an easy one. It is not. When someone speaks to us, we end up listening though a mesh of beliefs, prejudices, preconceived notions, and past relational baggage. What we end up really ‘hearing’ in our brains is a distorted version of what was communicated.

For listening to be effective, it needs to land for us with minimal distortion. To do that we need to master the art of Active Listening. Which is listening without intention, without judgment, without RIGHT or WRONG.

I would like to relate an incident of an irate customer from a previous assignment. He was a regular buyer of our services but on that day, he came to book a family holiday and said he would pay once he returned. Such credit to individuals was not allowed as per company policy. The counter supervisor tried to reason with him but he got even more upset and stormed into my office.

Customer: “I can’t believe this, the way I have been treated just now. After all these years, are you guys telling me you don’t trust me? I have tried to explain to your supervisor but he throws the rule book at me.”

Sensing the anger and upset, I decided against trying to explain and opted to listen empathetically. As the customer continued to rant, I maintained eye contact, nodded sympathetically, and made verbal assertions like, ‘I see’, ‘I understand’.

When the customer finally stopped, I said, “I heard what you said and realise how upset and unacknowledged you must be feeling. You mentioned that you wish to make the payment of your much awaited holiday package after your return. Have I understood you right?”

The customer for the first time cooled down. “Yes, that is correct. I find it demeaning that your company does not trust me.”

“Okay, this is what we could do,” I said. “You could give us a post-dated cheque and I will authorize its acceptance as a special case.”

Now, this was not at all an innovative solution and could have been offered earlier also. So what could have been the reason for this not happening? Clearly, the engagement had been more about protecting one’s own turf and resolution had not been part of the mindsets.

As I think back to that situation, I can see that the active listening demonstrated in that interaction is what resolved the situation. The eye contact and nods, the acknowledgement of emotions, the paraphrasing and the offer of a solution is what allowed the customer to be heard, valued and reassured and be willing to co-create a resolution with me.

In Learning……………….. Shakti Ghosal

Do your Leadership choices upset your stakeholders?


This was the question that was debated during a podcast which I did recently with Executive Coach Frank Marinko in Australia.

All of us know that leadership is all about making choices. It is about aligning the organisation and its underlying stakeholder relationships with an overarching vision and intrinsic values. However, the prism that each stakeholder uses to evaluate decisions and decide on a roadmap could be significantly different from one another. We might hold complete clarity, based on our own belief and experience-based prism, about what and how something needs to be done. This is where the pitfall of a ‘My way or highway’ mindset lies.

Based on market conditions and the need to do a strategic shift, you might need to cut costs by reducing the workforce. But this could lead to employee insecurity and negative publicity. You might decide to use certain material to improve product quality but that might bring a backlash from environmentalists. A tradeoff between shareholder profits and employee benefits might lead to morale drop and lower productivity. Such a list of potential pitfalls can be long.

So how could you as a leader successfully negotiate and mitigate the above risks?

In this context, you might wish to listen to the two podcasts which are in the laser coaching realm.

In Learning…….. Shakti Ghosal

What to do when the world stinks


Some years back, I had a Divisional head join the team.

The guy had impressed the recruiting board with his talk of ‘track record’ and ‘ideas’ about how he planned to transform the business. When I got around to have a chat with him, he seemed to be all humility and spoke of his own self development through working and learning from me. But several subsequent events seemed to indicate that at the sniff of a challenge, his self-serving shield would go up, a lot of talk about blaming the environment and others in the team would emerge but not much action on the ground. In the meanwhile, the company kept losing competent and productive staff as well as customer accounts; his oft repeated declaration about ‘brickwalling’ them did not seem to be working.

To me it appeared that the Divisional Head did not know what he was working to develop; he was definitely not working on his own leadership. When I again had a chat with him, what came up were several blames. ‘That he had not bargained for the kind of work he was now being expected to do.’ ‘That I was failing to support him adequately.’ ‘That he was stuck with incompetent team members.’

In a nutshell, the job stank, I as the boss stank and the team stank! I did not have the heart to ask the guy that if the world all around stank, could it be that he himself was the problem?

How many of you have faced a similar situation at the workplace? If you have, have you wondered what one might need to do to transform the situation?

The world can shift when one shows up with authenticity and with humility.

Transformation:

  • When we see ourselves as the problem, we can be the solution too. We need to spend more time working on our own selves rather than trying to fix others.
  • Do we have the expectation that our team members should be the harbinger of good news and developments? We need to lower that expectation.
  • Empathy is a strong word; being empathetic is easier said than done. Nonetheless we need to practice putting ourselves in the shoes of others and seeing the world through their lens.
  • Gain the realization that others do not really humble us; we humble ourselves.
  • Show up as a servant leader. A leadership style that enables everyone in the organisation to feel empowered and thrive fearlessly as his / her authentic self.
  • Say ‘Thank you’ to three persons in a day. Look them in the eye and be specific. If someone is not around, send a thank you email or Whatsapp or make a call.

In Learning……                                                                 Shakti Ghosal

How to navigate a Control Freak?


In our work life, all of us have come across bosses who are control freaks. These are folks with hardened mindsets about what got them to their positions of power. Under uncertain and ambiguous situations ( and today’s environment is becoming increasingly that), they are most prone to risk-aversion, look for scapegoats or black and white solutions and doubtful decision making.

Before we start forming strong opinions about others, we need to hold the thought we too  exhibit ‘control freak’ characteristics at certain times; we are genetically wired with an intrinsic need for control.

In a past assignment, I was reporting to a ‘control freak’ in the corporate office. He lacked domain knowledge relating to our area of business and made up for this lack through demanding total transparency of all operational aspects from our side but with an opaque Blackbox approach from his end. In meetings, he would ask all the questions and then attempt to put one manager against another in a classic divide and rule tactic, to elicit the ‘correct answer’. At times he would deploy the ruse of ‘letting go’ when he would shift to a ‘looking over the shoulder’ kind of control.

What the ‘control freak’ boss ended up achieving was disrespecting and devaluing people, demotivating me and creating stress all round.

The way I managed to handle the situation was to shift from my preoccupation and anxiety about what the boss was saying and thinking to a more inward looking focus. I started thinking about myself, my ‘own battles’ and what I could do in a situation. Every time I felt mistreated, I tried to hold the thought that it was really ‘not about me’; this allowed me to shift from reactiveness and choose a better response. Over time I knew that if I was not careful, my ‘response’ might easily get tainted with bitterness, fear or thoughts of revenge.

In my work life, I was also lucky to have worked with a boss at the other end of the spectrum. He was the ‘hands off’ type but at the same time objective driven. He shied away from taking credit but was always available for discussions and guidance relating to decision making. The team under his watch successfully handled one of the most technically challenging and largest HVAC projects in the country.

So, how might we support others impacted by excessive control in the work place?

  1. Coach how to ‘let go’ when perceiving to have been wronged. Such ‘looking inward’ practise needs dollops of courage, humility and self-compassion.
  2. Listen to frustrations. Acknowledge that it’s awful to feel disrespected by one’s boss.
  3. After listening, turn the conversation to the following: (a)How might you be a better team player as a result of working for a controlling boss? (b)How might you motivate yourself to perform even though your boss is disappointing?

In Musing ……..                  Shakti Ghosal