During one of my courses, I was discussing the idea of “Energising” with a participant when he suddenly asked me a question that stayed with me.
Participant: “But isn’t our job to make people change? If we can see what they are doing wrong, shouldn’t we tell them?”
Me: “Perhaps. But let me ask you something. How do you feel when someone tells you that you are wrong?”
Participant: “Defensive, usually.”
Me: “And what happens when someone believes in you, even when you are struggling to believe in yourself?”
He paused, then replied, “I suppose I become more willing to try.”
That, I believe, is the difference between changing someone and energising someone. We often try to bring about change through criticism, pressure, fear or even guilt. It may work for a while. But it rarely creates lasting change. At best, it makes people comply. At worst, it makes them doubt themselves. Energising is quite different. It is not about pushing someone towards the destination we think is right. It is about helping them discover the energy and courage to move towards the destination they want.
As we continued our conversation:
Participant: “So, what does an Energiser actually do?”
Me: “Sometimes, very little. You listen. You create possibility. You help the person see what they cannot yet see in themselves. And when the moment comes, you say something as simple as, ‘I know you can do this.’”
Participant: “But can words really make such a difference?”
Me: “Words matter. But what matters even more is the energy behind them. People can feel whether our encouragement is genuine or merely convenient.”
We have all experienced it. One person walks into a room full of enthusiasm and somehow the room feels lighter. Another walks in carrying anger or cynicism, and the atmosphere changes without a word being spoken. Perhaps leadership, coaching and even relationships are less about transferring instructions and more about transferring energy.
And perhaps the most profound question we can ask ourselves is not: “How do I make this person change?” but: “How can I help this person find the energy to change?”
Because when people are pushed, they may move. But when they are energised, they move with conviction. And that is when change becomes their own.
In musing…… Shakti Ghosal
#learning, #energising, # leadership, #coaching, #mentoring,
A New Beginning 